Lost American Tour


Here's Jonny

I am feeling a bit better today. I'm no longer burning through two packs of Kleenex a day. I'm trying to cut back.

We went out to the countryside and saw Glendalough and the Wicklow Mountains. We did this whole day tour thing because we wanted to get to the countryside and it was cheap.

Anyway. Our tour guide tells us that he gets told that he looks a lot like Jack Nicholson. I think he's full of shit. Then he smiles. Jesus. He looked scarily like him. Then he does his impersonation of an American. It was nonstop hilarity all day. Do you remember in Good Will Hunting, when all the guys are sitting around in the bar telling stories that are mostly bullshit? Yeah, our tour guide, Dave, did that a lot.

In the middle of the day we stopped at a country pub. I had this amazing bowl of Guinness Beef Stew. For €11.95, it better have been fantastic. I ate every last bite, and it was huge. Like, even for American portions it was huge.

In the Wicklow mountains, there was this cliff that overlooked a valley. The roads were very narrow and I buckled my seatbelt (because obviously, that would save me from the 2000 foot fall if we careened off the road). We stopped on top and walked out on the cliff to take pictures. They are beautiful. I'm excited to get them printed. There was this lake that was shaped like a pint of Guinness. Oddly enough, by the Guinness estate. The water was very dark because the soil around there ispeatt, or something. Yeah, I suck at listening, more on that in a second.

But the important part of the story is that it was really windy on this cliff. Like, really windy. When I walked out there, the winds were gusting so hard that it was a lot likesky-divingg. I could barely here anything. I had to brace myself to take pictures. And I didn't dare get to close to the edge. I got a flashback to when I skydove when I was 18. It was a nice memory.

Anyway, me sucking at listening. We were on the coast, so we saw the Irish Sea. The tour guide tells us that the pier is slippery. Do you see where this is going? Star, my travelmate, decides to take a picture of me on the pier. I was up on some rocks and we were leaving shortly, so I jog out there. All of a sudden, I'm sliding. I surf a couple of feet and still manage to stay up-right because of my ninja like balance. Everyone cheers for me. I blush. She takes the picture.

Well, I hope this entry is semi-coherent since I'm not taking the time to proofread while on vacation.

There's a pint with my name on it tonight. We're meeting up with a girl from the tour today. Maybe there will be stories.


At 7:07 PM, Anonymous Jim Stitt said...

I can see there is a theme to Ireland and it appears to be screaming Guinness! Does the shape of a pint of Guinness look different than a pint of Bud? Maybe that lake would have looked like a pint of Bud if you were in the U.S.
Anyways, this is some good reading.

At 4:03 AM, Anonymous Ken said...

Just to let you know I'm keeping Minnesota nice and cold for your return.

At 5:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awesome. I wish i had that talent of looking cool while totally in whipe out mode.


At 7:11 PM, Blogger ella said...

1. Guinness is really dark.
2. I'm glad Minnesota is chilly. It is a gorgeous january here.
3. Miss you!


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